This Day is Good

This day was good.  A very  close to normal day and I think it was the normal that felt good. I am grateful for a normal, good day.  A day my head wasn't consumed with thoughts of my illness.  Yesterday, while sitting in Quaker Silent Worship and having my head filled with thoughts of cancer, treatment of cancer, what ifs of cancer and longing for the inner peace that I usually find in this Sunday morning gathering,  I angerly decided to order all thoughts of cancer out of my head!  It worked and I had possession of my mind again!  Today was better more normal, I slept well and late, photographed young children enjoying a concert of Irish musicians, went out to breakfast at a favorite restaurant that ended up being lunch as we got there late but enjoyed the artsy casual atmosphere and the lunch offering.  I have to admit, after running errands and somewhere in the middle of the super Wal Mart I was fading but the energy lasted longer today and will last even longer tomorrow, I know.  Yes, this day was good.  And all of you dear Friends, friends and family I hope yours was too.  There is real value in a good day.  Or maybe I am just learning to appreciate it more. . Hugs, Sandy
P.S.  The photo is a closeup of the inside of one of the tulips that Tom brought me on our anniversary.  So many time flowers prove that  looking within is where true beauty is found.  . . .

Flying High

I awoke feeling so good this morning that I had to dig out this photo of the flying lady used in parades here to express myself.  Yesterday was a down day until I got the good call from Mayo. I was just dragging, both physically and mentally.  I guess it happens.  Anyway, I slept well last night without any sleeping aids and woke this morning feeling more like my old self.  I am sure knowing that I don't have to return for a mastectomy or other surgery has made a big difference.  I don't know yet whether I will have to have both chemo and radiation treatment, but that is ok.  I have dodged the big bullet of invasive cancer.  I am so fortunate.  I am grateful for early detection and so much more.  And  I am just grateful for a feel good morning.   Hugs and love to all. . :)   Sandy

Yippee!!

I just got the call from Mayo.  The lab results are back and the borders are all clear!  So no more surgery!  Made my day!  Hugs all around!  Sandy

Home is Good

It was so good to be home yesterday afternoon, to sleep in my own bed, to breathe the fresh cool air through the open window as I slept.  Home is good.  Home is best.  I am grateful for how the last week has gone.  The outcome is better than I even dared hope for.  Yet, I am a worrier.  Those close to me know that.  If the results from the lab work that is still out come back that the good doctor did get all and the borders taken and biopsied  are without any cancer cells you will probably here a big yippee from me  all the way from Silver City!  That would be so wonderful.  I would worry less.  Then the question of radiation or chemo or both? Where should I have radiation? At Scottsdale Mayo or at the Silver City Cancer Center?  I have read that you have to be careful of heart damage with left breast radiation. I may not have those questions answered until I meet with the oncologist April 18th.  If  the lab results are not good  and I need to return for the mastectomy sooner I will have more answers sooner.  Today I need to concentrated on Gratitude. .for early detection. .  for wonderful medical care . . for friends .. .for family. . for today being my 3rd Wedding Anniversary to Tom, who has been my source of strength when mine wobbled.  Thank you all . . I am fortunate. . in so many ways. Gratitude. . Gratitude. . Please overcome that worry thing. . . Hugs and love to all, Sandy

Comin' Up Roses!

Ok, they're cactus flowers, but you get the idea!  I am so grateful to all of you for your thoughts and prayers and to Mayo Clinic and Hospital and the good doctor and all of the kind nurses that took care of me today.  The results were better than I even dared hope for. Someone must have had good connections with the man above!  Then biggie is that all of the lymph nodes were negative!  And don't have the lab work back yet the doctor did feel like he had gotten it all.  If that goes the other way I may still be facing a mastectomy but for the first time the possibility of no chemotherapy was mentioned. I will have lab results on Friday or Monday.  The doctor said the chest xray and the blood work done yesterday looked good with no indication of problems beyond the breast.  Thank you all so much for being there and your support and prayers.  It has meant so much.  Love and hugs to all.  :)Sandy

The Road Ahead

After Saturday, Sunday and Monday of sight seeing and visiting with friends here in the Scottsdale area and Tom's family  in Tucson, this morning we are back to the task at hand.  I will probably bore you with the details, but somehow I need to put them in print.  Therapy here?  At 12:45 my pre-op procedure starts in radiology where they put a radioactive "seed" to guide the surgeon into my cancery body part and also inject dye to detect the desired lymph node.  I asked the nurse about the possibility of using a zannex that I had left over from my last such procedure for the seed implant and she said I wouldn't  need it,this is a very small needle, not like the last time. Whew. . At 2:30 I go to the lab for blood work and then at 3:15 for an ECG. I was thinking EKG, but they said ECG, so I will be there and see what happened.  I complete the day at 4:00 with a chest xray .   And as best I can determine, as the result of the first appointment, I may have a glow in the dark left breast!  I will have to check!  Wednesday I am to be at the Mayo Hospital, a few miles down the road from the Mayo Clinic for surgery.  I need to be there at 5:30 am, so we are definitely going to need a wake up call and be on the way at 4:30 AM.   In surgery they will do a lumpectomy, as best I can figure 4 small areas.  I have no lumps, but they are taking out two border areas of microscopic stuff left behind from my last surgery in Silver City, as well as,thankfully,removing  the two areas of suspicious calcification that were not detected by the Silver City surgeon.  And then also doing whatever they need to do with the lymph nodes. They will dismiss me from the hospital and I will be free to travel back to Silver City the next day(Thursday).  It will be good to be back home,  but I am grateful to all that is available to me in medical care here, for the distractions of the Phoenix Zoo and the Arizona Sonora Desert Museum for the days I was waiting for my pre-op day and surgery day, and of course for the kindness of all, definitely including the patience and attention of sweetheart hubby Tom.   Thanks  to all of you for listening.  More detail than I needed to give.  But morning therapy complete! Love and Hugs, Sandy

Tiger Spirit

Looking for some tiger spirit here to combat the big "C" in the days and weeks ahead.  Friday was such a positive day and I don't have to be back to Mayo for pre-op tests till Tuesday so we are taking advantage of the days between for a trip to the zoo yesterday and traveling a couple of hours down to Tucson to visit Tom's extended family there and back here Monday night.  All this is great distractions from sitting and thinking about the "what if's". We didn't venture back in the pool here, but after a day of being on our feet opted for Baskin Robbins root beer floats over standing in line for dinner and a soak in the hot tub afterward.  I was asleep by 8.  Grr. .I am going to try and channel a little of this tiger spirit for the week ahead. But  I think he was really just a big  kitty  at heart!  Love and Hugs to all.. . Sandy