Monday, February 13, 2012
You Are So Beautiful to Me
And strangely, I have found myself saying thank you to my badly disfigured left breast. When I was first diagnosed I was angry at the body part that had betrayed me. It became alien to me, a parasite, just hanging on that I really just wanted gone. Or to stop hurting. .or to be better, quickly. I was impatient. Very impatient! Then as time went on I slowly began to say thank you,L.B. , for not hurting so much today, for healing, however slowly, for becoming part of my healthy body again. When I met with my surgeon oncologist last week, he happily gave me the good news, that I had dodged the big C bullet. That I was cured. Cancer free! He was smiling as broadly as Tom and I. And then he apologized for the disfigurement caused by the removal of so much tissue and eagerly offered to restructure the breast. I said no thank you. This part of my body has endured so much and become healthy again. I am happy with that! To me healthy is the new beautiful!
Again, as I have tended to in this blog, I have rattled on, a bit to deeply, maybe too bluntly. It has been therapy for me and from time to time probably caused a few red faces out there. It would take a lot of space to say all that I am grateful for right now. But I am especially grateful for the kindness and support from old friends, new friends, Quaker Friends, and friends I never even knew I had. You are all so beautiful to me!
My love to each and every one of you,