Big Needle Phobia!

Well, waiting for the phone to ring and find out if I am going to have to travel back to Scottsdale for the dreaded big needle proceedure.  I spoke with the radiation oncologist Friday who is consulting with the surgeon oncologist and deciding if I need to come back into Mayo Clinic to see what is going on with the continued bleeding that I am having.  He mentioned that he thought I might need to have the cavity are drained via the (gasp) Big Needle.  I have been paying more attention to that body part the last couple of days and think I may have something going on there, perhaps an infection.  So, I haven't had many bumps in the road and this one seems very fixable unlike many of those going through breast cancer treatment.   Feeling fortunate here and going to the gym and working on some press releases for the Art Guild.  Oh, yes, the photo above I call" Dragonfly in a Blender".  It started out as a beautiful dragonfly and then I "swirled" it!  Isn't that what life does to us sometimes!  I guess the lesson here is learning to still find the beauty in life even when it isn't perfect... . Love and Hugs. . Sandy

On the Road Again- and Back

We made a quick trip to hot and humid Oklahoma and are so glad to be back home in much cooler Silver City.   It was good to see grandchildren and others although I was dealing with a family non medical type emergency that made the whole thing stressful.  But life is a learning experience.  I found that I do turn into a mild  version of  Momma Grizzley when necessary.  That Tom is an incredible person in a crisis and I am so lucky to have him by my side.   That an airconditioned theater feels really good in 108 degrees heat. That big bags of popcorn and a funny movie soothe the soul.  And , oh, yes.  I am doing well.  For a few days there I didn't even think about twinges, or being a little lop-sided, and other thoughts of breast cancer.  It occurred to me that when you are trying to help others, you somehow forget about self and being so self absorbed.  A lesson to be learned there, I think! I am grateful for this day and pray for peace, in the world, and hopefully in Oklahoma, too.  

Dear Friends, friends and family, love and hugs and to all.  And spread it around.We all need more of that, you know.

Sandy

I Am Talking to Lizards, Is That a Bad Sign?

Not just any lizard really.  We have two very large lizards that hang out on the stucco walls of the front of the house.  We call them the house crocs and I assume they are getting their daily meals off of the bugs on the rosebushes there.  Beautiful creatures!   A few days ago I went out the front door to find a baby lizard(a miniature version of the house crocs) around the front porch area,and now he is most always there.  Very gentile little fellow. I talk to him  and tell him what a fine specimen he is and strangely, we have eye contact and he doesn't  scoot away as the two big ones do. He just sits and listens. And does a little front body pushup of approval now and then. So I am talking to lizards these days.  Is that a side effect of radiation?? 

 I think I am doing well with my recovery from surgery and treatment.  Still have a little occasional bleeding and a low grade pain zaps me ever now and then but not really knowing what is normal  I am guessing that is all OK.  When I go back for check up in September I guess I will know.  Energy level seems alright but the heat really gets me so I am trying to stay under the cooler during the hot part of the day and anxious for the infamous monsoon season to start so we get the cooling afternoon rains.   My thermometer was reading 97 today and that is hot for Silver City!

 I finally found the bird feeder that I was looking for and have it hung outside the kitchen window.  We had to hang it very high so that we aren't also feeding the deer from it.  Just a few birds this morning but hopefully they are telling their friends where the good eats are!

 I have been saddened by the death of two people, both of whom I barely knew.  One a lovely young lady, just getting started in her adulthood, who so badly wanted to live but valiantly battled cancer and lost.  Another,just a few years younger than I, whom I had visited a couple of times,  had many illnesses and choose not to endure  them anymore, and took her own life.  I had sensed a wonderful childlike spirit in her, and was shocked to hear the news.  So sad.  In both cases.  Once when I was a child,  I remember a minister saying that life is like a sparrow that flies from the outside through one window of a room, passes through the room and flies out a window on the other side.  It really didn't make sense when I was very young and a year seemed like an eternity.  It makes sense now.  Life is precious.  And too quick.  Treasure every day.  I know I do.  Gratitude! 

Now I think I will go have a chat with the lizard. . .
Hugs,
Sandy

What Now?

I saw this young boy having what looked like his first "climbing the tree" experience the other day.  What you don't see is the mother below, knowing he had to do it himself, but  with her arms outstretched just in case!   As I have traveled this path that was unknown to me, it was so good to know there were so many of you there to catch me if I faultered or just let me lean on you if my knees were getting weak.  Thank you!  I had read somewhere that there is somewhat of a let down after cancer treatment is finished, because you don't feel that you are doing anything to fight the disease.  I understand that now.  I hope all of the cancer was removed with the surgery and if there were any of the little critters hanging around afterwards that the radiation abolished them.  I have been told it is  most likely that is the case.  That is what I need to believe.  And , what now?  You return to your life BC(before cancer).  But the experience changes you forever.  Are you a stronger person for have stared the possibility of  death in the face?  I guess so.  I don't know.  This I do know, I am  changed. With an abundance of newfound gratitude and for the better, I hope.

 Love and Hugs, 
Sandy

Ghost Ranch, A Peaceful Place

I must do this quickly as batteries are low(the computer, Not mine!)  but I had to share with you this photo of one of beautiful cliffs caught is last light yesterday.  Everytime I see them like this I think I have never seen theme so spectacular before.  They are just one of the reflections of the spirit of peace and tranquility that those who are able to be part of annual gathering of Quaker Friends are fortunate to experience.  I am having a good week. Feeling well, eating better than I should , resting more than I normally do and participating in a lot of thoughtful, meaningful gatherings dealing with many important aspects of rightful living in this day and time. .  I always have gratitude to be here and surrounded by the people and the spirit of peace.  Love and Hugs to all. . .   Sandy

Hangin' On!

Life has gotten busy and this morning we are off for a few days at Ghost Ranch.   Seems the summer has come in a rush and I am trying to keep up with the pace. But it is a real joy to do the normal again!  I am feeling well and continue to be grateful for recovery and life!  Now have to finish packing and go!  Hopefully will be able to share some of the beauty of Ghost Ranch in photos in the days ahead.  Last year we had no cell phone signal but did have wi-fi. . Love and hugs to all,
Sandy

Ghost Ranch Calling

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Having barely unpacked my bags, next week Tom and I head for an annual "retreat" that we look forward to all year.  Ghost Ranch is the location of the annual meeting of the Western Quaker Friends and a wonderful opportunity to see old and new Friends, contemplate our life and the world around us and just enjoy the peace and quiet of this magnificent New Mexico location. We also have the opportunity to share our photography again this year in the book store and are busy putting together a new group of "Ghost Ranch Memories" photo cards and matted photography.  I was wishing that it was a little further down the road from my month spent in treatment in Arizona, but actually the timing is probably perfect.  I am having enough time to reconnect with people here, to handle things that I have been postponing taking care of and the the days at Ghost Ranch will give me a few days to think on the past few months of this cancer venture and wrap my mind around the road ahead.  As many of you know, and I know for sure, that going through the terror of diagnosis and the uncertainty of procedures it leaves you with a different outlook as well as value of your life. ."One Day at a Time, With Gratitude".  I am there.  The rest of my life.  That I wasn't sure would be.  What a great place! A lot to contemplate next week at Ghost Ranch.   Stay tuned for the rest of the story!. . . Love and hugs to all of you  following  the blog. ..Get your cancer screenings. . it does save lives( I am going to be a nag about this!). . . .  Sandy